Self- Infliction

It's me; I am the problem.

I’ve started writing this blog many times but never made it concrete. I probably have hundreds of pieces of paper lying around my bedroom, desk, and other places I forgot about. I originally started to call this blog: Unlearn Openness. It wasn’t until I was cleaning my room I found some of my nephew’s diapers in my room. I was upset.

As I let my brain spiral, a small voice said, “but you put it there.” The voice continued, “ you do this often; you take things upon yourself and get upset when it starts to inconvenience you.” I only responded with a simple “huh.” I then realized I blame other people and elements for things not working out how I wanted them to, but it was me. Most of the encounters were brought on me self-infliction.

So naturally, this raises the question, am I the only one? I know there are other young girls like myself. You might even realize that you are doing it but know you are not alone. Start slow; your plate does not always have to be complete—schedule moments in the day for you and just you. I also had to learn why I took on so many projects: people pleasing, fear, not knowing how to say no, and a bunch of other things that I won’t reveal until later. However, if you are like me and have spent years taking on additional projects and then complain about being too tired, hurt, or not having enough time for yourself, then the solution is simple: just stop. No one can take care of you more than you.